day 22 – confidence

Welcome to day twenty-two of 28 days of Self-Love.

Let’s continue to cultivate the habit of Self-Love through creativity, breath, and gratitude.


confidence.  |ˈkänfədəns|
noun
the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.


“The best way to gain self-confidence is to do what you are afraid to do.” — Anonymous

  • Music Inspiration: Sir Sly – &Run

https://youtu.be/jdoR7E7b4Mo

  • Day 22 Exercise: Own It

First, let it all go. Stop with the incessant worry about what others think. stop with the should’ve, would’ve, could’ve-s.

Obviously, this is a process, like the rest of life, but begin right now.

I read an article a few months ago (I forget what the website was) and it likened your thoughts to open computer tabs. I love this analogy. This goes hand-in-hand with implementing a meditation practice but is even more helpful when implemented in everyday life.

So envision your thoughts as tabs (your mind as the computer) and whenever the thoughts pop into your mind quickly assess if it is a thought that is urgent or necessary, or self-serving in any way. Then depending on where you are and what you are doing minimize and close the tabs constantly. Some thoughts are valid and keep us on task or schedule throughout our day, some are random nonsense, some are judgemental, some are broken tapes we need to address and close completely.

During meditation, typically, lots of thoughts will try to sneak in, the key is to recognize and acknowledge them and then minimize ALL the tabs. Keep acknowledging and minimizing.

When not meditating, deal with each thought appropriately. For example, as I’m sitting here writing this post several things are pinging around in my mind: I need gas in my car. I had a lot of random thoughts pop into my mind during Shavasana at yoga tonight. Is anyone getting anything out of this challenge I’ve put together? I need to carve out time to write. My hands are swollen. 

If we break all of these thoughts down we can address each one and clear the mind. Maybe I make a note to remind myself to get gas first thing in the morning. Now close the tab.

Overthinking about the over-thinking during yoga is ridiculous! As in the second thought above. If that had happened during yoga (which it did, as well) acknowledge and minimize. Now it’s simply in the past and doesn’t matter. LET IT GO! Close tab.

Is anyone getting anything out of this challenge? Self-doubt alert. Which can quickly spiral into self-pity.  So I have acknowledged this thought and decided the better question is, an approach that comes from the confidence within: Am I getting anything out of producing this challenge and offering it to others? Yes, I am. Too many things to list. Much gratitude to each of you reading this post. So close the tab.

I need to…  Any sentence that begins like this, assess it and then see if there is something you can do to set a reminder, plan, or prepare for whatever it is you “need to do” if, in fact, you honestly need to do anything (self-criticism likes to hide in these types of phrases as well). I do need to sit and write more, but not today. Done. Minimize the tab.

My hands are swollen. And they are because my meal at dinner was salty. Meh. What can I do—Drink more water.  Maybe, not order that meal again. Close tab. Move on.

See the pattern? Acknowledge your thoughts address what needs addressing at the appropriate time and move on. Don’t dwell on what no longer serves you. Don’t spiral. Stay in the moment. Let the rest GO!

As you practice and honestly learn to let it go, you will start to ignite a certain type of inner flame. A subtle power. An inner confidence. “I got this.”

Then you’ll be ready for the next step. Do something you’re afraid to do.Anything. Start with something small.

I loathe small talk. And striking up conversations with complete strangers is difficult without a degree of small talk. I get extreme anxiety when confronted with situations where I have to engage in small-talk. And given my personal situation, I am basically beginning life all over at 43, so meeting new people and networking are vital to me at this time. But with my self-confidence in the pooper and my anxiety, it makes for an interesting quest. Baby steps. Minimize tabs. And. . .place one foot in front of the other.

Over the course of the last few weeks, I started a convo with one of my yoga instructors (now friend) and she subsequently invited me to a business meeting and a girls night out, where I met a few other women, and then went to another event and maybe found a prospect for some business leads. Then I realized I want to further my yoga training and asked around about that. Met another wonderful woman, and was invited to another event. Each time I open my mouth and ask for what I want, another door has opened. Now here I am almost a month later and I have new contacts, new friendships blossoming, and maybe even a potential date in the near future. The last one was huge for me because I took a chance and opened my mouth and said, “I’m single and I’d like to meet someone kind.”

This was SCARY. Opening my mouth the first time to say “hey,” was the hardest though. As things progressed it became easier and easier to engage and begin to assert myself and ask for what I want. It doesn’t mean everything is perfect and roses. But doors are opening and I am walking through them.

This is faith. This is confidence. This is change. YOU GOT THIS! has become my new mantra.

So take all of this and check in with yourself. See where you are today. What are you afraid to do? What small thing can you do today? (and then tomorrow, and then next, etc.)  Go do it. YOU GOT THIS!

  • Day 22 Create: One-Line Poem

Whew. That’s a lot of introspection and self-work for one day. Let’s make this creative part easy. Fun.

So, just like the title indicates, create a one-line poem. That’s it one line. A sentence or a phrase or an incomplete thought. Whatever, be creative.

Here is my creative work as a result of today’s exercise:

Confidence.
Inspiration:

Go within to become comfortable without.

One-Line Poem:

I mirror what mirrors me and see through soft eyes of renewal.

Love and Ink,
Grace


I invite you to share your poems in the comment section below or link to a blog or personal website. Read and comment on others. Introduce yourselves. Get involved. I’m excited to see what all you lovely souls have created.

You rock! See you back here tomorrow with another day of Self-Love.

25 thoughts on “day 22 – confidence

  1. Sometimes the best thing I can do is get lost inside an amazing book.

    Defend your personal space

    It’s okay to speak my unpopular Truth and be heard than to stay silent and “agreeable”

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