Run-on Days

blood

102, 229, 446, 195, 84 this is how time passes now. It’s breakfast 2 units, lunch 2 units, dinner 3 and all include a correction formula. Math is my new best friend. The clock face has lost all its characters, and time is measured in doses, corrections, and syringes. The hours stood still the Monday before Thanksgiving as I learned of my son’s diagnosis. It’s pokes and pricks and “just a little blood,” stomachaches and headaches. There is no “good or bad,” only target, high, and low. I can recite nutritional labels like Mets’ fans know their RBIs. 15 is a magic number and 30 requires correction. Though magic doesn’t conjure anything per se. This isn’t a fairytale it’s a daily life that fluctuates. A constant flux where instability is the norm. 30 equals 1 in this new math I’ve learned and even that can change. Common Core’s ugly stepsister: If Sally has 2 bananas and John has  diabetes  how many units of insulin will John have to take if Sally shares one of her bananas. Bedtime is different, it is lavender and long-lasting. Mnemonics make it easier if that’s a word I still choose—easier, that is. Though nothing about this is ‘easy.’ Hot cocoa can no longer aid a kiss for comfort, but my son’s a trooper. “A top-notch kid.” Like he has a choice. I know he’s kind and witty and no stranger to compassion, but it’s not like there is any other way. 2 AM is the only time I’m required to know and digital clocks have no face, but I know her sight unseen. She was once the hour of the poet, an enchantress now relegated to swabs and lancets and meters that measure these magic-less digits we chart. This is our kingdom and we will rule with grace. But this is our kingdom, and we can scream or silently weep within these walls as well. All is not well. But we are blessed. And as 2 AM turns to 2 AM and numbers are computed 95, 266 . . . it all begins again.


My son was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes on November 23, 2015. Writing is a comfort to me, so I decided to share some words here. I know we are not alone and my hope is to reach out to others and let them know that we understand. Together. We are all one.

Love and Ink

15 thoughts on “Run-on Days

  1. I’m not going to pretend that I understand what you’re going through because I don’t. I’ve never dealt with this type of situation. And I know I can’t offer any advice that would act as some kind of miraculous balm. But I can say that I know you’re a good mother. I can say that your son is lucky to have you. I can say that you have an inner-strength that I do not possess. I can say that you are not alone in all of this. The folks that you’ve met on your writing journey care about you and your family. And I care. If you need anything, no matter how large or small, please reach out to me or another friend. I’m here if you need a shoulder.

    Chris

  2. My son has t1d as well. It is true how our language becomes a new one…never to be the same carefree souls we were..wishing you and your son strength to keep on keeping on… hugs…

  3. Prayers for you, Grace, and your son as you learn the new math of a challenging journey…I sympathize with no more hot cocoa (among other things) as I’ve had to alter my diet or suffer bouts of colitis. You can do this!

  4. Beautiful souls! Where’s the ‘LOVE’ button?!

    Humanity begins to come full circle when we’ve begun to re-learned ‘how to’ immerse our heartbreak in love; a divine comfort of cure as the current pains of the r helm pursue our virtue. Embrace these, our most powerful emotions, love, and virtue, as weapons of choice. Fear not the illusions of despair. True warriors we have become who accept courage as we dare to know the ways of intention and purpose!

    Prayers of Love toward you as you accept your challenge, with dignity! Peace be to you, your son, and your family during moment of need.

  5. Grace,
    May God give you, your son and family the strength and wisdom you need to travel down this new journey of life! Remember, to always ask for help and know your friend are there for you. You will never be alone on this journey. My friend, know your family is in our thought and prayers daily. Keep writing!!!

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